Dance in the rain!

I turned the radio on. The blast of the soulful music made the rains romantic. Yet for the first time I could not enjoy it. There was a tightness in my heart.I will be leaving Mumbai.Apart from the fact that I have to abruptly draw the curtains on my life here, I will be going back with another small and silly regret-the regret of not getting wet in the rains with the waves submerging me in their kisses.It made me rue not having a friend with me at that moment in order to go out and get embarrassingly drenched. As I was approaching Marine Drive, radio played these lines from the film "Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara":

"Dilon mein tum apni betabiyan leke chal rahe ho.
Toh zinda ho tum!
Nazar mein khwaabon ki bijliyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum!
Hawa ke jhonkon ke jaise aazad rehna seekho
Tum ek dariya ke jaise, leharon mein behna seekho
Har ek lamhe se tum milo khole apni baahein
Har ek pal ek naya samaa dekhe ye nigaahe"

I switched off my ignition. Parked my car and ran out to the tree lined promenade of Marine Drive.I recited the remaining lines to my heart.

"Jo apni aankhon mein hairaniyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum!
Dilon mein tum apni betabiyan leke chal rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum!"

Joined the laughter and joy shared by the cute couples and simply singles without much thought. There were several "Kodak moments" all the way! Once the excitement died down, I sat at the boulevard looking at the sea. With 'bols' of the falling rain, the sea seemed to be dancing with abandon,pirouetting with glee, its skirt rising up with each twirl and crashing against the rocks. Every spirited wave filled the onlookers with delight!

Sitting there by the gleeful sea, I shared my turbulent thoughts with her.I was packing my bags to leave this "City of Dreams". It was my decision. However, the reasons were not mine. It was my life. However, the heart was not beating at my wishes.

What if I am the sea? When I dance with pure joy, it would spread happiness around me. My smile will light up the hearts of all those who love me. Going back against my wishes, I felt lost and deflated.I was scared that, with time one day, the cloud of unhappiness in the heart will reveal itself in the gloom of my eyes and snuff out that light.That day will be my real defeat.

Relieved, I went back to my car.Punched in Packers and Movers and cancelled their services. Dialled my parents to confirm my arrival. It was definitely going to be tough convincing them.However, big decisions in life should not be compromises. They should be the outcome of selfless love and not that laced with the regret of sacrifices. Inspired, I added my story to the lines:

"Intezaar ke naami ko aankho par chhane nahi de rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum!
Dilon mein umeed qayam rakhte ho
Toh zinda ho tum!
Lafz pe hasi leke aagey bad rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum!
Khudiko mitne nahi de rahe ho
Toh zinda ho tum!"

Love others by loving yourself and the sun will shine from round the corner.